Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Not waving but drowning
Oh I'm so fed up. It's only Tuesday, the 3rd day of the holidays, and I am not coping. I used to look forward to the holidays but it is so hard to keep 3 children of such different ages amused. Eldest daughter (15) wants to go shopping, cinema and spend time on her own with me. Alfie's (5) behaviour is just 'off the radar' naughty. He doesn't listen, he runs off and generally acts like a child with severe learning difficulties (he doesn't have them). He is a prize twit at all times. He and his big sister do not get along. He winds her up, she yells at him non-stop and I am stuck in the middle trying to keep them both happy. Paul is no help, he works all day, most evenings and all week end. It is like I am a single parent but worse because no one knows that I need help, they assume that as I have Paul I am ok and there's not a reserve husband in sight!!! He also has his own demands on me and when he phoned earlier today, to find me on the verge of tears telling him I couldn't cope, all he could go on about is how much money I spend and why can't I do things with the kids that don't cost money. "Like what?", I asked him. "Go to the beach", he replied. It is soooo hard to take 3 kids (one a baby) to the beach on my own. I'm not much good at doing free things nor are my kids (nor is Paul actually) so that just leaves staying at home I guess. I hate going to parks, they bore me. After that phone call I cried all the way home, much to the bemusement of my children (thank god for my Chloe shades!) I'm depressed, totally pissed off. I feel like a shit mother and a complete failure. Any tips gratefully received, I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!
On the positive side I have just made £240.00 for some fabric squares that cost me £3.00 in a charity shop. That's the holiday fund sorted out then :-) Pin It