Monday, August 20, 2012

Love and Loss (and the hardest thing I ever had to do)

Saying goodbye to a friend of 17 years is unbearable.  That the friend was a 4-legged, furry  moggy makes it no easier.

My beloved cat, Bella, my constant companion for the last 17 years died today, in my arms.



I held her while the vet did the kindest thing and released her from the obvious pain she was suffered.

It broke my heart.

My funny faced little girl was the sweetest cat I have ever met.  We got her and her sister at the same time, from a lady my Mum met on holiday in Greece.  We had wanted a cat for my little girl, then 5 years old, (she is now 22), but when we heard about the 2 on offer we couldn't possibly choose between them and so Bella and her sister Fifi came to live with us.




They couldn't have been more different.  Fifi was brave, the leader, whilst Bella was a nervous, shy little thing.  She quickly latched on to me and became 'Mummy's cat'.  She was never far from  my side.

2 years later my daughter and I were shopping in a garden centre/pet shop for pond plants and fell in love with a fluffy black kitten who came home with us and became part of our family.


Hebe was never accepted by Fifi who still hisses at him every time she sees him, some 15 years later, but Bella loved him.




A few weeks ago we found Hebe in our garden unable to walk or stand and so he was rushed  to the vets.  Tests were done, X-Rays taken and he spent a week on a drip, antibiotics and heart tablets until the vets told us that nothing more could be done without extensive tests which would run into thousands of pounds.  We had visited him in the vets and each time he was purring and so happy to see us so we made the decision to bring him home and give him lots of TLC. I am a big believer in the power of love and I wanted him home.

For days he was so wobbly and to tell the truth I wasn't sure he would get through the first night.  He was unable to walk more than a few steps.  He would fall over all the time and be unable to get up and was a pitiful sight.




During this time Bella had been pining and had stopped eating. I think she missed him when he was away and was distressed to see him when he got back.

Hebe has now made such an amazing recovery and is walking, jumping and eating almost normally again.

Sadly Bella had declined very fast and because of her advanced years she became very poorly.


I will miss her more than words can say.  Her almost constant presence in front of the Aga, her cuddles with me on the sofa when the children have gone to bed, her little 'meep' meow, her painful happy feet which she always did on us, forgetting to put her claws away!  I will miss her sweet nature, the balance of having 3 cats, all so different in their ways.  I have had her longer than 2 of my children.











RIP Bella, my sweet little girl.



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39 comments:

Ailie Williams said...

So sorry Donna. Know exactly how you feel having lost my dog earlier this year. try to keep smiling xx

Runnerduck said...

Good night sleep tight Bella.

Stay strong Donna, you have given your beloved friend the best of lives and the kindest goodbye.

Sending love through my tears xxx

Gena said...

Ahh Donna sweetie,so sad to read this,our pets are a huge part of our lives and that of our families,you did the right thing and always remember she lived like a Princess thanks to you xxx

Lori said...

So sorry for your loss! I have had 3 cats pass and the 4th one is sleeping on my desk while I type. Yours was very blessed to have you!

Ted and Agnes said...

hugs my dearest Donna our pets are so badly missed when they are gone...take care my love rxxx

Country Cottage Chic said...

So very sorry Donna. Words cannot say how sad we feel when we have to let a beloved pet go.
Hugs to you and the family
X

Country House Vintage said...

Bless you Donna, my thoughts are with you. I have lost a few very close creatures over the years and each time the pain is so awful...but remember how privileged we are to be able to love and be loved by such special friends xxx

Pipany said...

Oh lovely Donna, I am so sorry. My darling Daisy cat took herself off to die at the age of 18 and I was devastated. I still think sometimes that she may turn up. Lots of hugs sweet lady xxx

BusyLizzie said...

So very sorry to hear your sad news Donna. I know just how you are feeling as I have been through this before and it never gets any easier. Big Big hugs, Lizzie xx

Tracy x said...

dear sweet donna my heart breaks for you.
when our precious friends go it is so very hard to believe.
darling bella was blessed to have you as her cat mama for all those years and the fact that you held her close at the very end was the greatest gift you could give her x
it takes time to heal from these friends that leave us.
bella was beautiful and will always be around you x
t x

Hannah Bird said...

I am really sorry to hear of your sad news and wish to extend my condolences to you.x

BlossomBells said...

Lovely story - so sorry about the ending. I have my own Bella (and a Blossom) and I dread the day we have to say goodbye as they have become my family. From one cat person to another - *big hugs*.

Vintage Sheet Addict said...

It's sounds like Bella had a great life with you, she was a well loved and looked after cat. It's so sad when they leave us, we said goodbye to our dear cat Lucy a few weeks ago, she didn't belong to us, she lived next door but spent most of her time curled up in my kitchen! She was 17 years old, and the kindest cat ever! So sorry for your loss, Ada :)

Rainbow Vintage Home said...

Feeling very sad for you Donna, I have been there myself before, it is the hardest thing to have to do. She sounds like a fabulous cat who had a wonderful life and will be sorely missed. big love to you. Rachel x

elegancemaison said...

Such a sad loss for you but what a lovely life you gave her.

We also lost our much loved aged fur-face earlier this year. He died naturally in our son's arms while we were away on holiday. We still catch ourselves about to call out to him when we come in from a day out.

Beautiful companions - our lives are enriched by their presence. Cx

Squiggling About said...

I feel you pain, it's terrible to lose a pet. They are family and it's hard especially when you have to make that decision to let them go. I love all my cats and know what it is to lose them its heart breaking. She obviously had a wonderful life with you and your family. So sorry xx sarah

Hen said...

Ohh Donna, that's so sad, I am so sorry about your beloved and beautiful furry friend. They do make such an impact on our lives that their loss is unbearable. Your words about her are really poignant.
Take care, my friend, thinking of you.
Hen xxx

cupcakejojo said...

Oh Donna x no words can soothe the pain of loosing one of our furry babies. I just read this after only seeing your IG post a bit earlier. It brought tears to my eyes. My Nancy was 17 as well. She was older than my girls. It hurts like hell. Sending you love & thoughts x x x

Lauren said...

So sorry to read about you losing your moggy. It sounds as though she must have had a lovely life with your family and you helped her go when she was ready which is a brave thing to do. Stay strong.

Lauren

selfsewn said...

I know how youre feeling Donna, I've had my heart broken twice, it does get better, but crying is good, our pets are family members it would be wrong not too feel upset xxx

Sarah B said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. She was obviously a very important part of your life. Losing a pet is one of life's most difficult things. Take care x

Bobo Bun said...

Read your post with sadness for you Donna. It's bloody awful when the time comes and they have to go. We're still struggling to get our heads around the loss of our beloved Molly after a year and a half as she and Millie were inseperable.

X

found and sewn said...

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. I can totally understand how upset you feel, as pets become part of the family. Think of what a happy life Bella had with you xx

Tilly Rose said...

I know exactly how you feel. On Friday I too had to be brave and make an awful decision. My four yr old Yorkshire terrier had suffered some form of spinal stroke overnight, like you without thousands of pounds to run test ate test the vets advise was of one hard choice. She was in immense pain from nursery am to Saturday am and had no use of her body from the shoulders down..... She is now free from pain.... I am wrapped in guilt that I could not have done more..... Although in time I'm us we will both realise that we did what any kind pet Caron owner would have done.... X x x x x

Hesta Nesta said...

I am so sorry Donna, I am writing this through tears...I understand completely how you must be feeling. It is so heartbreaking to lose a beloved companion. Thinking of you.
Lots of love sweetie and a big hug.
Jo xx

Josie-Mary said...

oh Donna that set me off!! It was only 3 weeks ago I said goodbye to Teddy.... he too was 17. It's heartbreaking & I know just how you feel. I'm now a crazy cat less lady, I've lost 3 in just under 4 years. People keep saying get another but it's a big step & one I'm not sure I'm ready for yet. I hope the pain eases soon, we all get so attached to our 4 legged friends don't we? This is such a beautiful post & I hope Hebe continues to do well. Sending you a big hug xxx

Miss Magpie said...

What a beautiful post, they really do climb right into your heart. x

gemmipop said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, they become such an important part of the family. xx

liss said...

so sorry to read of the loss of your sweetie, hugs from Australia for you and yours, take care.

Ragged Roses said...

Thinking of you Donna and sweet Bella. xxx

LinenandRoses said...

So sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved pet is one of the hardest things. Thinking of you and sweet Bella. Fiona x

Gretel said...

I'm so sorry to read this Donna, having been through this a few weeks ago, I know just how painful it is and Bella looks like a proper sweetie. She'll always be with you, as my Mousie is with me - a little cat shadow, in the corner of your eye, and you will never forget her - though it is absolutely devastating.

Joy said...

Oh, I'm so sorry...sad loss. She looks just like my 13 year old Little Orphan Annie. They always capture hearts don't they.

prettyshabby said...

Oh Donna, that's sooooo sad. I am so very sorry.
All of us kitty lovers know exactly how you feel. It really is unbearable and something only time can heal. Thinking of you xx

wenhkc said...

Heart-felt condolences to you... I agree with Gretel's comment. I've lost two kitties in my life and I still see them every once in a while flitting in and out of the rooms around my house. I know it's so hard to bear but that means how much Bella meant to you.

Ivy Black said...

I'm so sorry Donna. It's a real wrench when we have to say goodbye to them when they've had such a huge part in our lives. She looks like a real love.
xx

Nanette Merrill said...

awww, what a sweetie. I love love callicos or whatever that sweet cat was. I'm so sorry for you. These pets are our best friends. Love them and lose them. It is hard.

Michelle said...

So so sorry for your loss Bella was such a lovie! I have a *few* kitties who are my children. Linus is attached to me and I cry just thinking about the day he goes. Big hugs to you!

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