Friday, November 04, 2005
In a stew
I'm fed up. I don't usually blog when I'm fed up because I don't feel inspired but I just can't shake off this mood today. My credit card bill came today and Fuck me it's huge! It's out of control and I am starting to get scared now. We are living on a pittance while Paul tries to set up his business but living in this monstrous great house is just eating up every penny we have and some. We sold our last house because we could no longer afford to live there and I am afraid we will have to do the same again. Trouble is last time the house sold before it even got on the market and for the asking price but the market has changed and I don't think it is a great time to be selling a house. Two of our friends tried selling last summer and have taken their houses off the estate agent's books as nothing was happening. I hate feeling like this and having to worry about money. Every time I think about Christmas I get a little bubble of panic rising in the pit of my stomach. I am feeling guilty about the money I have spent recently but I just don't know how not to spend money. I grew up poor and I don't know how to do it any more, I don't want to do it. I have double listed on ebay this week and have lined up some more goodies to sell so hopefully I should make some dosh. I sometimes wish I could go out to work, but then again I hate the thought of not being able to do what I want to to when I want to do it.
Anyhoo it's the weekend and I have just made a lovely beef stew with dumplings which I am going to consume with a glass of wine. I shall think of a way out of this financial mess, cheers :-) Pin It