Mud mud glorious mud

This is the second time I have written this as the first time it disappeared into blogger cyberspace!

I had a really crap day yesterday, no stick with me, I assure you it's worth it. It started off quite nicely dear reader with a lovely LONG phone call from my dear Tatty (well her husband is away and cannot nag about the cost). I was trying to get out of the house and into town to do a bit of (essential) shopping. This was proving difficult and after much yelling, cajoling and threatening (no fireworks unless you get your socks on NOW), I finally managed to get Alfie into the car. Grabbing my phone I noticed it had no charge. No problem, I thought, I will charge it in the car. I got baby and Alf strapped in, ran back, locked the door and then posted the key through the letterbox. Got in the car, looked in my handbag, no keys, shit. I'll phone Paul who has just left to go to the laser site round the corner and ask him to bring his keys. No charge in my phone, shit. Shit, shit, shit. I thought for a moment about walking the mile to his work, getting key, walking back etc but as that sounded far too arduous I decided to go round to near neighbours house and ask to use the phone to summon Paul's help. I do not know my neighbours that well, they are rather elderly and well-to-do. I am on waving terms if I see them in the lane or to say hi if they are in the village shop but otherwise I only worry about how noisy they must think us when we are all in the garden yelling and whooping in this otherwise quiet neck of the woods. I winkled Alfie out of his car seat where he was quite comfortable, thank you very much, put baby in her pram and set off round to the neighbours. The lady of the house saw us and invited us in. She was very sympathetic and offered to drive me to get the keys if Paul was unable to come. I used her phone while Alfie said over and over (very loudly) 'Mum, what's that lovely food smell?' 'I'm hungry mum' 'Mum I'm hungry' 'MUUUUUUUM' before disappearing into the depths of her house. Paul couldn't come as 30 kids had just arrived to play so Sylvia, (as I discovered my neighbour was called), drove me in her car and I left the pram outside her house. I tried to make small talk while Alfie went into full-on twit mode and just showed off like you wouldn't believe. I kept giving him 'looks' but it just made him worse. When we arrived at The Big Sheep I left Lizzy with Sylvia and set off with Alfie to get the keys. The lady at reception made sympathetic noises when I told her why I was there and waved us through. We started walking to the site when Alfie slipped and fell flat on his face and was now covered, and I mean covered, in mud. I screamed. WHY?!!!!!!!!!! I just didn't need this. Could my day get any worse? (Oh yes, you'd better believe it, it could get a whole lot worse). I grabbed the keys from Paul and started back to the car thinking 'how can I put this muddy child into my neighbour's clean car?' when Alfie semi-slipped again. I put my hand out to catch him and in doing so I must have lost my footing because I slid in the mud and ended up on my back covered in mud from the back of my head to my heels. I couldn't scream this time, I just couldn't believe it, I wanted to cry. Meanwhile Alfie was laughing like a hyena. He was beside himself but I failed to see the funny side myself (I have since and as I write this tears of mirth run down my face). Passing through reception the lady seeing us all muddy says 'oh dear, you're not having a very good day are you?' I growl under my breath (well I think it was under my breath) and go back to the car where Sylvia greets me with a look of horror. It starts to rain heavily. We get into her car and, to mask my humiliation, I just start talking crap while Alfie relives the scene over and over, hooting with laughter so that in the end Sylvia and I have to laugh. I get out of the car and after a thousand sorries for all the mud on her back seat I take the now soaked pram and we walk back down the lane, wet, muddy and bedraggled. I howl loudly all the way home (I find this always helps). I stay home, I can't face going out.

So, how was your day? Pin It